I was going to write down an epiphany here, since I can write anything for this week's blog entry. But, I am now too nervous to resonate with my epiphany. I might have to blah my nervous energy out before I can remember my epiphany. It just dawned on me that Epiphany can be and is a person to me. To some, they could call it holy spirit, to me sometimes I call it my donkey, or my Epiphany, or my heart's thought.
Anyway, the epiphany was so pretty, and sweet. I am going to write it down now; of course I can connect to my muse, my Epiphany at my own will, my heart's will. (i keep thinking back on my first blog entry, I voiced that I am a heart person, or something like that.)
We are taking our afternoon walk. Spring is truly just around corner even though the winter chill still dreads. Daughter shares her Epiphany with me, and as I listen I hear my Epiphany weaves in with her voice.
All of a sudden, I am at peace of death and dying, because of what Daughter says.
she is sharing a moment with a fallen branch because she feels that desire of connecting with something smaller. then she sees the pine needles, so she acknowledges the pine needles, right then she sees the insects, then she sees the ground, then the dirt...
I at the same time am trancing out with a state of mind that is new yet with a familiar sense of serenity and peace in my heart. My heart mind is seeing the freeing truth for the, maybe, first time that dying is not a curse, death is not evil. In fact, it will be a laid back a-ha moment with life.. that what life is about.. is to finally, at last, abide on such a level of one-ness.. one with the smaller ones.. and still smaller... and still smaller, fainter, lighter, freer... to finally be one with the almost-nothing ness.. the ultimate basic of it all..
Cognitive data and all this fails me.. but the peace in my heart's mind resonates...and I am thankful.
that's my epiphany.
ok, but MLK's letter from Birmingham Jail.. I would need to not worry more.. I just will have to ask questions and learn to read it in King's text. That's the thing, I don't know his text that way, of course I can't try to interpret it.
I care so much about doing a good job though. I want to be proud of myself at the end of the day, but I can also learn to kick back when it is time to just relax.. time to chat with daughter and hears her heart and mind. My daughter is the best gift, and sometimes I am too busy with myself I forget to enjoy her life as she lives it.
Tomorrow though, I am taking her out for some Indian food, and we will go for a walk at the Arboretum. We love that place. Wherever we can see trees and beauties alike, we are happy and have fun.
Yes, we will have fun tomorrow.
Thank God I have tomorrows to hope for.
by the way, if God is what I think God is.. then God does not need to be called God or whatever.
No one-word says it all.
cheers :)
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